[Sergeant_Crunch]

Wrote this last night when I couldn't sleep, just kinda came to me.

A Change In The Wind

The UCOR Wars had been profitable for Daryn Berkholtz. He had been making a name for himself in his corner of the galaxy as an up and coming mercenary commander. While his record wasn't spotless, the losses he did incur were always beyond his control and his natural leadership was often what saved his Bandits from total annihilation. He had apparently made quite the name for himself, as several recruiters, including Kolditz, had contacted him several times, even visiting him in person once. He always declined, prefering to command Berkholtz' Bandits rather than be a new guy in a large unit without much influence.
Even during lulls in the fighting he managed to turn a profit by selling supplies his units always seemed to 'happen' across during battles and were conveniently his spoils by the terms of his standard contract. If that didn't work they would sell the junk that soldiers always seem to pick up during campaigns. At any rate, his men were fed, they had a place to sleep, and thier equipment was taken care of.
At least until lately that is. The UCOR Wars seemed to be slowing down, at least from the small time merc's point of view. But something wasn't right. It was something Daryn couldn't quite describe except that it was like noticing a change in the wind. You know that the wind has changed, but don't know exacly what changed it or how.
All Daryn knew was that things were changing. Smaller corporate identities were being nationalized by the interstellar governments. It even looked as if the UCORs would be next. Normally Daryn didn't give two damns about politics, but this was different. He also knew that UCOR contracts payed better. He hoped that the UCORs could hold out, but didn't think they would be able to.
As he scanned MercNet and the regular news Daryn couldn't help but notice that old alliances from the Galaxy War seemed to be being put back together, but not with the same trust between the old allies. There had even been scattered accounts of minor conflicts between various national forces raiding facilities and outlaying garrisons of their respective former enemies.
Yes, the galaxy was in for a big change. Daryn didn't know how things would wash out, but he did know that if he played his cards right Berkholtz' Bandits could take advantage of whatever shape the galaxy took.
"Soon," he thought to himself, "there'll be no shortage of contracts."
If only he knew how big this change would be, not just to the galaxy, but to Berkholtz' Bandits and to himself.

[Spartan6]

Nice. My only critique is that you used "made a name for himself" twice in the first paragraph.



"He had apparently made quite the name for himself, as several recruiters, including Kolditz, had contacted him several times, even visiting him in person once."


Maybe something like:



His skill and natural talent had attracted attention from several of the big units, including Kolditz, who sent several messages and a recruiter to see him in person.




Other than that I really like it. Sometimes I can't sleep because the movie in my head won't stop playing until I go write it down, so I understand. Keep writing Sarge.

[Sergeant_Crunch]

See this is what happens when I write in the middle of the night on my PDA and post to the board pre-caffiene (it was a baaad day). Believe it not, I actually spend a lot of my time proofreading reports as a part of my MOS. Go figure.

After I wrote it I decided to continue the story and post it dependant upon when my muse decides to pay me a visit.

[Spartan6]

Cool. I'm looking forward to seeing some more of it.