[Qwyksilver]

Bryan suggested it, and darn it, I think it's pretty damn funny. So I am moving my lil limerick bout the Dwarves and their big axes here.

Feel free to keep adding new ditties and poems to mock your favorite Faction punching bags. Boost the coolness of your own faction, etc.

Have fun. Be stupid. (But don't run with scissors. That does hurt)

Here's to the little guys:

Quote

Varaug came upon a dwarf most irate.
About his giant axe did he prattle and prate.
"Bigger it is to kill all the Reven!
But the damn Orcs keep sendin ma boys to Dwarfie Heaven!"
Said Varuag, "We all know yer tryin to compensate."

[Otter]

Blood-drinking Necros
and the Nefsokar reborn
Undead kicking tail


A ghostly horseman
drifts through your living body
Non-corporeal hurts


dull is the work day
on feeder, red-winged blackbirds
a paint scheme comes to mind

[Qwyksilver]

Sweet, thanks for joining the fun Otter!!!

This one goes out to all those Chumbawumba Fans...

Tough SOB
Death greets me sweetly.
I close my eyes. Then I hear,
"I get knocked down, but..."

[Star Drifter]

I'm sure this is funnier with the information in the new Necropolis book.

The Reptus taste great
With a side of viperfang
Then they rise and serve.

Long have we wondered
"How does Athak eat his prey
with that helmet on?"

Then Malek explained:
"Plus-two straw versus living."
Tasty orc smoothies.

[ecs05norway]

White silk ribbon, fluttering
Elves lie in slumber about the battlefield
Aundine's blood-soaked roses

[styates]

Poetry for girls
Me smash elf skulls all day
No have good pencil

[Tsetsen Muur]

The Seventeen Elves
Warriors standing proudly
Five Archers pull strings

Raining deadly thorns
A calm before the true storm
The Deathseekers charge

Final slumber found
Wreched balance for the gods
Weigh against past sins

Stunn'd Reven brace
Against the Vale's broad steel leaves
Of Sword, spear and axe

I tried a Hiaku
I didn't do very well
This is it, the end.

(My first hiaku, written when I was in the third grade, about 28 years ago)

[Qwyksilver]

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who carried his minis in a bucket.

I bet you thought I was going somewhere else with this one eh?

Though battered they be.
They kicked the crap outta me.
If my army had a tail they would tuck it.

[Spike]

(Slightly modified orcish tribute to Sinatra)


Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be an elf?

An elf is a git with pointy ears
Turns up his nose at all he hears
His arms are scrawny and his spine is weak
But fattened and cooked, he tastes quite sweet.
Put down that mirror and quit preening yourself
or you'll grow up to be an elf.

Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a dwarf?

A dwarf is a runt with a hairy face
a member of a foul and grumpy race
He burrows in hillsides and eats rocks
and never bathes or changes his socks
But if you keep drinking cheap beer by the quart
You may grow up to be a dwarf.

Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a knight?

A knight is a tall and haughty man
who dresses up like a sardine can
He squats in Taltos with his human kin
but the orcs are nowhere near finished with him
So if you want to lose a fight
You should go off and be a knight.

And all the goblins aren't in your head
And they're not all under your bed
So you see it's all up to you
You can be better than you are
You could be swingin' on a star

(It's li'l Neek's favourite lullaby)

[Steven Page]

Varaug vs. Mossbeard(To the tune of "Try to Remenber)

Try to dismember,
This beast made of timber,
With axe so large,
And arm so limber.

Try to cut down,
This deciduous clown,
Before he kills
My last three Skeeters...

Eternal slumber,
for this heap of lumber,
Who just ripped apart
A still useful Ogre....

A good case of blight,
Might make my heart light
Leave him hollow...hollow...hollow.....

[Spike]

Yep.. the Reven just keep having problems with the local plantlife.

"Trees", a poem by Narg (translated by Spike)

I hope I'll never ever see
another bloody walkin' tree
with his horrid limbs he grabbed and clawed
and at our flesh he bit and gnawed
We chopped at him to make him fall
But our axes done no harm at all.
Then we let our arrows fly
But the bloomin' thing refused to die.
When he got done with Gurm the Brave
there was nothing left of Gurm to save.
Enraged, we gave him all our wrath
but it ended in an orc blood-bath.
With Yagun Oog and Varaug gone
our last two warriors high-tailed it home
"If you good elves would excuse us, please,
we're goin' back to Monglash where there's no bloody trees!"

[mgmaranda]

Haiku for you....

Ashcrypt Master Lich
Proudly surveys the fresh
crop of bonded slaves

Reptus bloom and die
by honor glory and blood
Dragon blood for sure

[mgmaranda]

I promise I will stop waxing poetically

Ode to the Knight

Darkness flitters o're the land.
Clink and chink go chain, for
those not slain by the conqueres hand

So goes the light
forth comes the
Overlord Knight

An orphaned babe cry out with a wail,
the sound echoes through out
And no to hear as the moon rises pail.

So goes the light
forth comes the
Overlord Knight

Iron shod hooves sound in the street.
Cleansing fires ignite, clearing the way,
for survivers enslaved, carried like meat.

Our heroes were right
there is no defete
for the Overlord Knight

[Krztoff]

An Ode to Eating the Flesh of the Living
by the Zombies of the Necropolis Army

Ugh... eh.
*bone crunches in teeth*
Arrrrrr... Uuuuuugh.
*blood in mouth gurgles* Ugh
ooooooohhh
Crusader.... Tasty....

Ugh... eh.
*bone crunches in teeth*
Arrrrrr... Uuuuuugh.
*chokes a bit* Ack!
uuuuuhhh
Elf.... Taste........ Fruity

[Darthiir]

Elven Haiku . .

Trees sway in the breeze,
Elves glide through the wooded depths,
Arrows pierce orc flesh!


Dwarven Haiku

Strong as the mountains,
Stout drinkers beyond compare,
Bane fells any foe!

Crusader Haiku

Denelspire soars,
The Ivy Crown charge ahead,
Mercy is our creed!